Thirty-seven years, two months, twenty days

I stuffed those feelings in various ways

Were the first five years good in my life

I have the most memories of that time of my life

Did Allinblack start to get me

Did that start my strife

Why do I wake up each morning at 5:00

How long did Allinblack mess with my life?

Why can’t I remember things from at school

Why did I always feel such a fool

How did it start between Calvin and me

No — I’m not responsible for the shit handed me

He did the talking — persuasion his tool

Manipulation is how he got to rule

Mom saw it happen and did nothing for me

If I said it out loud, the blame’d still be on me

She still wants to deny what really went on

I don’t want to hurt her so go right along

It hurts me inside because it’s me I deny

The truth that it hurt her and still hurts inside

How many times did Stretch stand by my bed

Doing what he wanted — was it like I was dead

There’s no way I’m responsible for that shit in my life

It didn’t get any better — same shit as a wife

How much did I block those years going round

Was I there for the kids — it makes my head pound

I can’t change the past — want to sort out the present

The truth of what’s happening so life is more pleasant.