Thirty-seven years, two months, twenty days
I stuffed those feelings in various ways
Were the first five years good in my life
I have the most memories of that time of my life
Did Allinblack start to get me
Did that start my strife
Why do I wake up each morning at 5:00
How long did Allinblack mess with my life?
Why can’t I remember things from at school
Why did I always feel such a fool
How did it start between Calvin and me
No — I’m not responsible for the shit handed me
He did the talking — persuasion his tool
Manipulation is how he got to rule
Mom saw it happen and did nothing for me
If I said it out loud, the blame’d still be on me
She still wants to deny what really went on
I don’t want to hurt her so go right along
It hurts me inside because it’s me I deny
The truth that it hurt her and still hurts inside
How many times did Stretch stand by my bed
Doing what he wanted — was it like I was dead
There’s no way I’m responsible for that shit in my life
It didn’t get any better — same shit as a wife
How much did I block those years going round
Was I there for the kids — it makes my head pound
I can’t change the past — want to sort out the present
The truth of what’s happening so life is more pleasant.